Did you know that one might play a game with some other object than winning in mind? I had heard that such people might exist. But I couldn't really imagine it. Why play if not to win? I'm not talking about a cut-throat, devil-take-all, no-blood-no-foul mindset (I reserve that for Spades and Risk), but just in general-- isn't a desire to win a natural part of engaging in competition?

Apparently not for everyone. Apparently some people play games with only the goal of enjoying the company of other people. Nothing more. These are usually the sort of people who decide to be nice at some point and bend the rules so that someone doesn't feel bad.

????????????????

Such tactics (or lack thereof) catch me off guard, throw me off balance, cause me to loose my footing in what would otherwise be a fairly natural setting for me. Much more natural, at least, than mingling and standing around pretending to be interested in whatever superficial banalities people bring up in an attempt (usually unsuccessful) to provoke semi-stimulating discussion. Ah, a game. Something to wrest us all from small-talk-induced somnolence. So I would usually think. But when you throw into the mix a need to be nice to people, to spare their feelings at the cost of a true spirit of competition, then I'm left perplexed and uncertain of myself. My uneasiness shows itself as my behaviour erratically swings from quiet withdrawal to overly pushy comments and suggestions.

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your co-workers, I guess. No doubt they find me just as difficult to understand as I do them. At least as difficult.